Bye bye David Ortiz, don't let the door hit you in the ass

Just putting this in here because it's always fun to watch him strike out. Yesterday afternoon, it was reported that Red Sox player and longtime thorn in Yankee fans' sides David Ortiz would be retiring after the 2016 season. (Ortiz himself confirmed the news about 40 minutes ago on Twitter.)

And as the news spread, I watched as people bent over backwards to compliment him on his career. Fine, whatever. He's a good player. But what I also saw was a few people dramatically proclaiming that they couldn't understand how anyone could possibly hate Big Papi.

Oh really? I don't know about you guys, but it is extremely easy for me to intensely dislike David Ortiz and everything about him.

  • I don't think he's lovable.
  • I don't think he's jolly.
  • I don't get a kick out of his obnoxious poses after he hits home runs (when he hits them against my team).
  • I don't think it's amusing when he destroys dugout phones or throws entire bat racks at umpires after he strikes out.

Ortiz acts like a brat nearly every time he strikes out and it's more than obvious that has anger issues.

And why is this okay? Why do we celebrate this? And before I get any, "You're just saying this because he's Latino," responses, let me just say that Kevin Youkilis' sour pusses and child-like tantrums were just as annoying when he was on the Red Sox. Same with Dustin Pedroia's pouty faces. No one ever strikes out on that team. It's always the umpire making a bad call.

Just imagine any other player getting away with the nonsense Ortiz gets away with. And why does he get a pass? How come no one says anything when he actually destroys property and has to be held back by three guys while going after an umpire because he disagreed with a strike call?

He's so big! He's so jolly! Oh eff off. Ortiz actually could have hurt one of his teammates when he bashed the phone. They could have had a shard of the broken phone cut their face or their eyes. He could have accidentally hit someone with the bat - we saw Ryan Braun do it to Jean Segura in 2014 and he wasn't even angrily swinging his bat, he was twirling it.

And then we have the "you don't have to like Ortiz but you have to at least respect him," people chiming in as well.

You know what? No I don't. Not at all. I don't have to respect anyone if I don't want to.

And yes, I admit that a lot of this is sour grapes. Of course it is! David Ortiz has been a pain in the ass for us ever since Minnesota stupidly got rid of him in 2003 and he magically became an all-time great player after donning a Red Sox uniform.

I also cannot stand how he gets a pass when it comes to his PED past* because he claims that he had no idea how he tested positive. Oh please, and my ass is really blue with green polka dots. Every other guy connected to PED is raked over the coals and guys who never even tested positive get more grief than David Ortiz. It's just mind-boggling to me.

So am I happy to see David Ortiz go? You bet your ass I am. In fact, I will personally pack up his stuff at the end of the 2016 season and help him leave.

Goodbye. Good riddance. Never come back.

*You guys know I don't care about PED usage, but the fact that the people who do never bring up Ortiz is really annoying. It's as if he's the only MLB player to get a pass.