About the Off-Season: Making Sense of Nonsense

About the Off-Season: Making Sense of Nonsense

By Tim Kabel

February 8, 2026

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I know this is a family friendly site with a PG rating, so I will be careful about what I write. On Friday, I was about to take a shower (wearing a full wetsuit, of course). The shower attached to my bedroom is a glass booth. In coordination with just about everything else in my apartment, it was set up poorly. There are bigger gaps in the joints than the one in Alfred E Newman's teeth. I have repeatedly asked the landlord to fix this but naturally, it hasn't happened yet. 

As I closed the door to the shower, where there is also a gap, I felt the bottom edge of the door brush across the top of my left foot. A few seconds later, I saw some blood in the shower. At first, I thought it was dried blood washing off the healing wound on my leg. But it didn't stop. In fact, the blood became more prominent. Soon I saw a fountain of blood shooting out of the top of my foot, as if Moby Dick was swimming in an ocean of burgundy wine. 

I tried to stop the flow of blood with a wet washcloth. That didn't work. I ended the shower quickly and proceeded to bleed through the bathmat and six fresh washcloths. By using my cane, I applied pressure with a washcloth and that slowed things down for a few minutes. I quickly realized that I couldn't wait for the visiting nurse to come and that I needed to do something else. I was also afraid of getting lightheaded and possibly falling. 

So, I moved into the bedroom, sat down, and called 911. Soon there was an enormous pool of blood in the bedroom and a smaller pool of blood in the bathroom. The EMT's came very quickly and were excellent. They handled everything perfectly and I had given them detailed instructions as to where I was in the apartment and to make sure they didn't let the cats out because I didn't want to be chasing them up and down the street freshly out of the shower, with a bloody foot in Arctic conditions. 

Clancy stayed by my side throughout this entire ordeal and tiptoed his way around the pools of blood like the late Tiny Tim until the EMT’s startled him and he ran under the bed.

Eventually, after applying a pressure bandage, the EMT stopped the flow of blood. 

I still had to be transported to the hospital where an entire team of doctors, nurses, and others crowded into the room to see what was going on with my foot. They asked which direction the blood was like likely to shoot, and I told them, so they all stepped to the other side. When they removed everything, there was still a trickle of blood, so they had to put some sutures in the top of my foot. 

Apparently, the corner of the glass door nicked a vein, causing the deluge of blood. I think I will use “Deluge of Blood” as a title for one of my books. Anyway, my bathroom and bedroom looked like a crime scene. One of the very nice EMT's, who resembled EMT Barbie, crawled under the bed to get Clancy so he wouldn't be in the room alone in the room with the blood. She hugged him repeatedly and didn't want to let him go. Once all the EMT's saw Clancy, they momentarily forgot about me and began gawking at him. 

Let's just say that there was so much blood that the EMT who attended to the wound had to change his pants. I never passed out and remained calm throughout the ordeal. However, it was obvious that if I had not called 911, there might have been a much different outcome to the situation.

I was discharged a few hours later because they stopped the bleeding and replenished my fluids through IV. Since then, I have felt drained, and I tire quickly. I understand that's normal, and I am pacing myself. This was a freak accident and something I never would have expected.

Once I arrived home, I saw the news that the Yankees re-signed Paul Goldschmidt. I began to suspect that I was hallucinating because of my blood loss. Although Goldschmidt remains a tremendous hitter against left-handed pitching, he is hardly the player he used to be. He is also 38 years old. He is also limited in that he can only play first base or DH. His power has declined tremendously.

Reportedly, the plan was to make Ben Rice an everyday player. I understand that he does not hit left-handers extremely well, but the only way he will be able to do so is by practice and experience. Remember when Paul O'Neill came over from Cincinnati? The report was that he couldn't hit left-handed pitching. Well, Buck Showalter played him every day. O’Neill won a batting title. It seemed on the surface that the re-signing of Goldschmidt would eliminate the likelihood of Ben Rice becoming an everyday player. That still may be the case.

Once I ate something and got some fluids in my body, another thought crept into my head. There might be another option in this whole situation.

Let's take a look. The Yankees have been trying to get a right-handed bat. Ideally, they wanted a right-handed hitting catcher. Apparently, none of the remaining free agents or players who might be available via trade are appealing to the Yankees. 

Goldschmidt is not a catcher. However, Rice is. This may be the plan the Yankees implement: when there is a tough left-handed pitcher, instead of having both Rice and Austin Wells in the lineup, the Yankees could use Rice as the catcher and Goldschmidt as the first baseman. In essence, Goldschmidt would be substituting for Wells, not Rice.

That might also allow the Yankees not to carry a third catcher. On days when both Wells and Rice were playing the field, if Wells suffered an injury, Goldschmidt could come in to play first base, allowing Rice to shift to catcher. Certainly, there would be some days when Rice was out of the lineup completely but not many, because he is a young player. On those days, Wells would remain in the lineup as catcher and Goldschmidt would be the first baseman.

Basically, Goldschmidt would be functioning as a backup catcher without actually catching. 

Accepting this plan would involve believing that the Yankees were creative enough to do such a thing and that Aaron Boone would actually follow through on it.

Removing JC Escarra from the roster would also free up another space so there would be less of a crunch and a desire to send either Jasson Dominguez or Oswaldo Cabrera to the minor leagues.

By looking at things that way, the signing of Goldschmidt makes sense and is actually a pretty good idea. Of course, I could still be lightheaded from loss of blood.