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  • Tim Kabel

About the Off-Season: So, This is Christmas? 

About the Off-Season: So, This is Christmas? 

By Tim Kabel

December 25, 2023

***

(Imagine the title line of the article being delivered in the voice of the late Bea Arthur, and you'll know where I'm going with this.)  


It is Christmas. I decided to try something completely different today to make the holiday a little more fun and take our collective mind off free agency and other issues. Ebenezer Semendinger is looking at me disapprovingly over his spectacles but has graciously allowed me some time off to make merry as Bob Cratchit would say. By the way, for my money, the best portrayal of Ebenezer Scrooge was by George C. Scott. 

 

The Twelve Days of Yankees' Christmas 


On the first day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

A World Series Championship 

 

On the second day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Two Juan Soto Jerseys  

And 

A World Series Championship 

 

 

On the third day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,  

Two Juan Soto Jerseys, 

And 

A World Series Championship 

 

On the fourth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm, 

Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,  

Two Juan Soto Jerseys, 

And 

A World Series Championship 

 

On the fifth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Five Boones blowing bubbles, 

Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm, 

Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,  

Two Juan Soto Jerseys, 

And 

A World Series Championship 

 

On the sixth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads, 

Five Boones blowing bubbles, 

Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm, 

Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,  

Two Juan Soto Jerseys, 

And 

A World Series Championship 

 

On the seventh day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian, 

Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads, 

Five Boones blowing bubbles, 

Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm, 

Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,  

Two Juan Soto Jerseys, 

And 

A World Series Championship 

 

On the eighth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Eight framed Yogi-isms, 

Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian, 

Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads, 

Five Boones blowing bubbles, 

Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm, 

Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,  

Two Juan Soto Jerseys, 

And 

A World Series Championship 

 

On the ninth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Nine Dr. Semendingers a’running a marathon, 

Eight framed Yogi-isms, 

Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian, 

Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads, 

Five Boones blowing bubbles, 

Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm, 

Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,  

Two Juan Soto Jerseys, 

And 

A World Series Championship 

 

On the tenth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Ten cannoli in honor of the Scooter, 

Nine Dr. Semendingers a’running a marathon, 

Eight framed Yogi-isms, 

Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian, 

Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads, 

Five Boones blowing bubbles, 

Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm, 

Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,  

Two Juan Soto Jerseys, 

And 

A World Series Championship 

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Eleven of my friend Roger’s red pens, 

Ten cannoli in honor of the Scooter, 

Nine Dr. Semendingers a’running a marathon, 

Eight framed Yogi-isms, 

Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian, 

Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads, 

Five Boones blowing bubbles, 

Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm, 

Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,  

Two Juan Soto Jerseys, 

And 

A World Series Championship 

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me: 

Twelve Bernie Williams’ guitar CD’s, 

Eleven of my friend Roger’s red pens, 

Ten cannoli in honor of the Scooter, 

Nine Dr. Semendingers a’running a marathon, 

Eight framed Yogi-isms, 

Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian, 

Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads, 

Five Boones blowing bubbles, 

Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm, 

Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,  

Two Juan Soto Jerseys, 

And 

A World Series Championship 


Happy Holidays to all. 

7 Comments


Robert Malchman
Robert Malchman
Dec 26, 2023

I'd much rather hear it sung in John Lennon's voice. Much more promising, I think.

Like

jeff
Dec 25, 2023

For the 12th Day of Christmas, I would much rather, the Yankees gave to me.....12 key players (minimum) who stay off the Injured List for the entire season.

Like

yankeesblog
Dec 25, 2023

And so this is Christmas and what have you done?

Traded for Juan Soto

Please don't tell us you're done!


Like

Jonathan Silverberg
Jonathan Silverberg
Dec 25, 2023

You're out of your mind...I know: de gustibus non disputantum, BUT:

Alastair Sim is the Babe Ruth of Scrooges...

Like

etbkarate
Dec 25, 2023

Happy Christmas!

Like
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