About the Off-Season: So, This is Christmas?
By Tim Kabel
December 25, 2023
***
(Imagine the title line of the article being delivered in the voice of the late Bea Arthur, and you'll know where I'm going with this.)
It is Christmas. I decided to try something completely different today to make the holiday a little more fun and take our collective mind off free agency and other issues. Ebenezer Semendinger is looking at me disapprovingly over his spectacles but has graciously allowed me some time off to make merry as Bob Cratchit would say. By the way, for my money, the best portrayal of Ebenezer Scrooge was by George C. Scott.
The Twelve Days of Yankees' Christmas
On the first day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
A World Series Championship
On the second day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Two Juan Soto Jerseys
And
A World Series Championship
On the third day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,
Two Juan Soto Jerseys,
And
A World Series Championship
On the fourth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm,
Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,
Two Juan Soto Jerseys,
And
A World Series Championship
On the fifth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Five Boones blowing bubbles,
Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm,
Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,
Two Juan Soto Jerseys,
And
A World Series Championship
On the sixth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads,
Five Boones blowing bubbles,
Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm,
Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,
Two Juan Soto Jerseys,
And
A World Series Championship
On the seventh day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian,
Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads,
Five Boones blowing bubbles,
Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm,
Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,
Two Juan Soto Jerseys,
And
A World Series Championship
On the eighth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Eight framed Yogi-isms,
Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian,
Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads,
Five Boones blowing bubbles,
Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm,
Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,
Two Juan Soto Jerseys,
And
A World Series Championship
On the ninth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Nine Dr. Semendingers a’running a marathon,
Eight framed Yogi-isms,
Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian,
Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads,
Five Boones blowing bubbles,
Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm,
Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,
Two Juan Soto Jerseys,
And
A World Series Championship
On the tenth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Ten cannoli in honor of the Scooter,
Nine Dr. Semendingers a’running a marathon,
Eight framed Yogi-isms,
Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian,
Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads,
Five Boones blowing bubbles,
Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm,
Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,
Two Juan Soto Jerseys,
And
A World Series Championship
On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Eleven of my friend Roger’s red pens,
Ten cannoli in honor of the Scooter,
Nine Dr. Semendingers a’running a marathon,
Eight framed Yogi-isms,
Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian,
Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads,
Five Boones blowing bubbles,
Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm,
Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,
Two Juan Soto Jerseys,
And
A World Series Championship
On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Yankees gave to me:
Twelve Bernie Williams’ guitar CD’s,
Eleven of my friend Roger’s red pens,
Ten cannoli in honor of the Scooter,
Nine Dr. Semendingers a’running a marathon,
Eight framed Yogi-isms,
Seven John Sterling home run calls in Italian,
Six Aaron Judge bobbleheads,
Five Boones blowing bubbles,
Four plates of Volpe’s chicken parm,
Three “That’s Baseball, Suzyn” t-shirts,
Two Juan Soto Jerseys,
And
A World Series Championship
Happy Holidays to all.
I'd much rather hear it sung in John Lennon's voice. Much more promising, I think.
For the 12th Day of Christmas, I would much rather, the Yankees gave to me.....12 key players (minimum) who stay off the Injured List for the entire season.
And so this is Christmas and what have you done?
Traded for Juan Soto
Please don't tell us you're done!
You're out of your mind...I know: de gustibus non disputantum, BUT:
Alastair Sim is the Babe Ruth of Scrooges...
Happy Christmas!