I’m Gonna Be (.500 Ball)

I’m Gonna Be (.500 Ball)

By Robert Malchman - With apologies to the Proclaimers

***

When I wake up, well, I know I'm gonna see

The Yankees are a team who play the game poorly

When I log on, yeah, I know I'm gonna see

I’m gonna see the Yankees took just one of three

If I get drunk, well, at least I know I won’t see

The New York Yankees with a dozen LOB

And if I have to, hey, I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the man who’s kicking his TV

But they will play .500 ball

And then they’d play .500 more

Just to be the men who choked a thousand times

And fall down on the floor

When it’s working, yes, I know it’s gonna seem

It’s gonna seem like Boone can really win for you

But when it’s about money, you know what Hal will do

He’ll pass on Soto and bring back Joey Gallo

When I come home (when I come home), oh, I know I’m gonna see

A bullpen meltdown of Ferguson’s courtesy

And if I grow old, well, I know I'm gonna see

Judge becoming Stanton in the 2030’s

But they will play .500 ball

And then they’d play .500 more

Just to be the men who choked a thousand times

Please just show Boone the door

When I'm angry, well, I know I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be angry for all the games they blew

And when I'm dreaming, well, I know I'm gonna dream

I'm gonna dream of what the Core Four used to do

When they strike out (when they strike out), well, I know it’s gonna be

Outside the zone, then another GIDP

And when they’re at home (when they’re at home), yes, I know I'm gonna see

Starters giving up a first inning run or three

I'm gonna be the man who's breaking his TV

But they will play .500 ball

And then they’d play .500 more

Just to be the men who choked a thousand times

And get swept out in four

And they will play .500 ball

And then they’d play .500 more

Just to be the men who choked a thousand times

To fail in October

***

If you don't know, sing this to this tune: