The Life of an Author...

by Paul Semendinger

March 8, 2026

***

This story is so absurdly silly that I had to write about it.

A few months ago, a fellow author, I'll call him J.P. Jones, offered to read my new Yankees book, The Greatest New York Yankees By Uniform Number before it was released.

I just received my first copies of the printed book and signed one for J.P. and set out to mail it to him. (I always try to repay kindness with even more kindness.)

I signed the book, put it in a padded envelope, and went to the post office.

As I handed the book to the postal worker, he looked at it and handed it back. "You need to fill out a customs form for this. He lives in Canada."

I had to then leave the counter, go to a bin, fill out a form and try again...

After waiting in line for a second time, I gave the book and the form to the worker. He then asked "Is it a document or a gift?" I said, "It's a book." He asked again, "Does that mean it's a document?" I said, "I am giving him a book." He said, "It's a gift."

Fair enough.

He then said, "We can't mail something to a person in Canada without his full name. What is his name?" I replied "J.P. That's the name I know him by." He said, "I need a name. I can't mail to an initial." I said, "His name is J.P." The worker replied, "Is his name John, of Jim, or Joe?" "I said, "I don't know. He is J.P."

In the end, the post office refused to mail to book.

Since I was out running errands, I stopped at the bank. I cashed a check for an amount of money ending in 83 cents. The banker asked if I had two pennies. I did not. He said, "We don't have pennies."

This was turning out to be a frustrating day. The post office wouldn't mail my book and the bank didn't have currency.

I began to walk home and passed one of those "all purpose" postal places. I went in and asked, "Do you ship internationally?" The man there said, "Yes! We ship all over the world. I just sent a package to Italy. Another went to Indonesia. If you have his address, we can send it."

I said, "Good. I want to mail this book to Canada."

"Canada," he answered, "Canada? What's the recipient's phone number? I can't mail the package without a phone number."