Tuesday Discussion; Favorite Baseball Jokes

June 24, 2025

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This week we asked our writers to share their favorite baseball jokes.

Here they are:

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Lincoln Mitchell -

Guy walks into a bar with a  dog.

Bartender: We don’t allow dogs in here.

Guy: This isn’t just any ordinary dog. He is a talking dog.

Bartender: That is nonsense. Dogs can’t talk. Get outta here.

Guy: If my dog can talk, willl you let him stay.

Bartender: Sure and drinks are on me.

Guy to dog: What do you call that thing on top of a house?

Dog: Roof!

Guy: See. He can talk.

Bartender: He just barked. Get outta here.

Guy: Give me another chance.

Guy to dog: What do you call the thing that connects the tree to the ground?

Dog: Root!

Bartender: C’mon get outta here.

Guy: One last chance.

Guy to dog: Who is the greatest ballplayer to ever live?

Dog: Ruth!

Bartender: Get outta here. He just barked again.

The guy walks out

Guy to dog outside the bar: You know, you really let me down in there.

Dog: You want I should have said Willie Mays

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Cary Greene -

The main reason I love baseball is because it was the first sport ever. It even says it in the Bible, "In the Big Inning...

Unfortunately though, baseball is quite boring. Why, even when a pitcher pitches a perfect game, nothing happens!

It also always seems to be hot and muggy at baseball games and it really shouldn't be that way, with all those fans around and all.

Once I took my wife to a game and she asked me why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Before I could answer, it hit her.

Then there was my buddy back in high school, he loved to order sausage sandwiches whenever we went to a game, but he wound up quitting our little league team because he was the wurst player on the team.

We also had a girl named Cinderella on the team who was even worse. Not only did she have a pumpkin for a coach, but she always used to run away from the ball. 

Some people here at SSTN don't understand the connection between Star Wars and baseball, not only do they lack an appreciation for Sci Fi, but a good number of them probably never saw The Umpire Strikes Back.

I'm a pretty sharp baseball fan, in fact, I once saw our own Andy Singer pitch and I was able to diagnose his control issues that day. I told him after the game that I was noticing a pattern. Every game at a certain point, he'd fall apart and lose control - it was happening right after the National Anthem! 

Also, I've often written how it drives me crazy that they sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame during baseball games. We're already there - for cryin out loud!

Regarding the Yankees, they have a lot of expensive, over paid "Wonder Players" on the team. Every time they play, I wonder why they bothered to get them!

In fact, I've also wondered what songs Yankees fans like to sing in the bottom of the ninth inning? I'm left believing there aren't any, as most fans are gone by then. 

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Ed Botti - Two elderly ex Brooklyn Dodger fans, Steve and Mike, were sitting on the stoop one evening reminiscing and talking about their lives, growing up and of course the Brooklyn Dodgers.

Steve askes Mike is he thinks there is baseball in Heaven, and a discussion ensues.

They agree that whomever is the first to go, has to come back and let the other know whether or not they have baseball in heaven.

A few years go by and Steve passes away.

One night later that year Mike is sitting alone, and suddenly sees Steve’s apparition appear in the dark.

So Mike asks the question, “Do they have baseball in heaven”?

Steve looks at him and tells him he has good news and he has bad news.

The good news is that they do indeed have baseball in heaven and how great it is to watch Jackie Robinson, Duke Snider, Roy Campanella, Pee Wee Reese and all the greats play every day at all the old ball parks they grew up with.

Mike is so excited, and then asks, so what is the bad news?

Steve looks at him and says “The bad news is you’re the starting pitcher Friday night”!

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Tim Kabel -

If Julia Child were a baseball manager, what would be her favorite play? 

The Bundt. 

When she was a pitcher, she had a great fastball. 

She could always beat the batter. 

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ChatGPT created the image from the following prompt: "Please create an image of some randon NY Yankees reading a joke book and laughing."